Anyone who knows me well enough will know that I love body products. Soaps and gels, deodorants, perfumes, lotions, body butters and sprays, shimmers, lip glosses—I have enough to open a store. I have different smells for different feels and specific themes for layering to make sure that each scent I wear compliments the other.
A few years ago, Bath & Body Works introduced their Breathe collection which had 6 fragrances: Energy, Happiness, Delight, Comfort, Romance, and Calm. Breathe Calm was my favorite. It was subtle and unassuming yet distinctive. It wasn’t the kind of scent that greeted people as they entered my presence or lingered long after I had gone. Someone would have to get close enough to notice, and when they did notice, I smiled to myself.
Imagine my disappointment when I went to replenish my supply and was told that it was discontinued. There was an internal conflict between the childish part of me who wanted to engage in a throw-myself-on-the-ground-and-cry tantrum, and the mature part who understood that there are real problems in the world of which lotion is not one.
I was able to get my hands on a few of the last remaining jars, and I vowed to use them sparingly. Bath & Body Works is known for discontinuing scents and bringing them back later. All I had to do is make these last until the collection is restored. And the minute I receive word that my lotion is back, I will buy as many as I can because they will not leave me again.
It’s been at least 5 years. No email, no flyer, no commercial or flash sale. Breathe Calm really did leave the building. A few weeks ago I took comfort in knowing that I still have one jar left. It had gone untouched for maybe 3 of those 5 years. No event was special enough to unseal my favorite lotion. While I wasn’t expecting invitations to a royal event or some other fabulous occasion any time soon, the idea of using my best lotion for a trip to the store was almost disrespectful. I have regular lotions for that.
So here I was depriving myself of something I enjoy for fear that it would not last forever. And while I was concerned about not being able to have it, I wasn’t allowing myself to have it. This was absolutely ridiculous! When I opened that jar a few weeks ago, I found a gooey substance with hard clumps. I didn’t know lotion could fall apart. It was as if everything had decomposed. It felt gross between my fingers, and there was nothing calming about the rancid smell emanating from my favorite lotion. I couldn’t tell from looking on the outside that it was being undone. I couldn’t see the breakdown happening, and it never occurred to me that it wouldn’t stay perfect forever.
It’s a common phrase in the exercise world: “If you don’t use it, you lose it.” This is as true for strength, endurance, flexibility, and mobility as it is for our talents, hopes, and dreams. We take it for granted that we will always have these things…that we can ignore them, not use them, and they will just be there waiting when we come back. We can’t always tell from looking on the outside. A thin frame is not necessarily indicative of a healthy lifestyle, and business is not always a measure of success. The reality is that muscles weaken; spines degenerate; opportunities pass; dreams die; and regret lingers. Could we have done more? Could we have done something differently? Could we have another chance?
I am reminded of a quote by Erma Bombeck: “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say, I used everything you gave me.”